Chaos And War

TRIGGER WARNING: TALKING ABOUT THE WAR IN UKRAINE, ANXIETY, DEPRESSION, AND EVERY OTHER GEOPOLITICAL SITUATION!

The world…the world is ending and you can’t convenience me otherwise.

My heart is shattered hearing what is happening in Ukraine before this I have been following very loosely what was happening since 2014 but I never thought it would go as far as a war.

I’m terrified that this is just the beginning of something far worse that will destroy the life I and many of us know. And the most terrifying thing I have come to realize is how normal I think it is and how numb I became after the shock faded away. Since the pandemic started and the rest of the chaos that followed I’m so tired of historic events happening every six minutes!

In 2014 I dreaded thinking of the possibility of a war…although I have been thinking about it many times during the day…now…there’s not a day where I haven’t thought about the horrors that are happening now in Ukraine.

I live far away from Ukraine and I’m safe but seeing how quickly this country’s safety was taken away from millions of families and people it’s unsettling. I spent days looking around my room and house mentally trying to pack my entire life…and I got so anxious by just the thought of it! Imagine having to actually execute this entire action?!

Furthermore, I can’t go on TikTok and dissociate from reality because the only way for me to get updates on the situation in Ukraine is through TikTok causing my entire fyp to be full of videos with this situation…so I can’t not go on it to run away from reality because reality gets thrown in my face. This is the least of my problems because everything had gone up prices-wise and jobs are scares…

Since 2021 and 2022 started I have been more actively searching for remote and local jobs and haunting for a residency but so far they are very little improvement. I really have no optimistic idea how things will turn out.

As much as I don’t like to admit it, I’m not built to survive a world war or any war! I have no survival skills! Hell, I have no skills period! The only thing I can do is write…yep that’s it…maybe throw a punch? No…not even that….

Watching everything that is happening in Ukraine and Russia I can’t help but feel sad and angry! Because the Ukrainians don’t deserve this and at the same time the Russian people, those who are against this war, don’t deserve these sanctions Europe and the entire world have imposed on Russia. Putin and those who support him and the war do deserve the sanctions and even to get trialed for crimes against humanity to the highest court of justice! These soldiers who support this war give a bad rep to those who were forced to get drafted/enlisted and sent under false info from the higher-ups!

Also, these people are monsters, because they aren’t soldiers or humans when they agree to fight and shoot at innocents, invade a country that doesn’t deserve this, and don’t obey the laws of war that were signed in 1948! Back to the point, these monsters also make it more difficult to believe soldiers who ACTUALLY surrender their weapons because they actually don’t want to fight this war…

I really hope this ends soon because we are nearing four months of this…I can’t understand why not so many countries have moved army-wise to help Ukraine and stop Putin from doing this and only send “prayers”… I’m thankful that countries sent food and medical aid but if those things can’t actually reach them because the Russian army is stoping it…what’s the point…how can they help them?

I wish I wasn’t so helpless….

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